:: hitchhiking across viewpoints

For the past couple of years I've made some interesting shifts in my religious views. Most notably, I made a drastic shift from the bible-pushing/right-wing/conservative arena and began flirting with a more progressive/liberal agenda. It's interesting to see what has come of two years of this game of cat and mouse.

I believe it began when this new fad of the pseudo-intellectual bashing of religion began sweeping the hearts of my generation. It went from the ever-so-popular "YOU'RE A REPUBLICAN??", gradually moved to "you believe in God??", and then began making its way to a more harsh "You're a $#!@%ing christian??". Essentially, we've integrated the hatred of conflicting political views with years of conflicting religious views.

What's interesting to me is that I specifically fled from the "right-wing"-religious standpoint for ONE specific reason: while I ultimately believe in sharing my faith, I strongly disagree with shoving it down one's throat and pressing the issue when it's clearly not welcomed. Let's face it though: at some point you draw the line, right? Boiling it down: I believe that what I believe is right. I do my best to keep an open mind to other religions (those of you that know me can attest to this) however, at some point I have to make that attempt to have you share my views. If you don't agree with me, part of me will be disappointed but that won't hurt our friendship. I'm also not going to tell you that "you're going to hell" and begin cursing you...

What's even MORE interesting to me is that the opposite field has came across the same problem (admittedly I am using some serious stereotypes here). We are no longer are able to hold logical and diplomatic conversations. Rather than shoving Christianity down someone's throat, I see the opposite. No efforts are taken to understand either viewpoint, instead it's black and white, no gray area in sight.

People often wonder why my particular religious views seem different than most "Christians". Here's a few things I have chosen to believe that I find of importance:

1. You do not have to throw away your intelligence at the door (a.k.a.: You can be an Intellectual Christian)
   
2. While other religions may hold conflicting viewpoints, we can learn from everything (e.g. taoist viewpoints in exercising is not the work of the devil...)
3. Listening to "Secular" music does not condemn you to hell (Can you believe people think this?)
4. Religious multimedia currently SUCKS
   
1. This one might need clarification...have you ever listened to Christian music or watched a religious video? Did you die inside while you did? That's my point...
5. You can use witty remarks without going to hell
6. You can BE PROGRESSIVE

I swear, the ignorance and lack of decorum of "the church" frustrates me enough to make it difficult for me to attend. I think it's the naivety that gets me. It's the Christian-camp, home-schooled, never spoken to a real person kids that kill me the most. Seriously, if you expect to actually talk to someone...what the HELL are you going to talk about? How many grasshoppers you caught the last time you were at Camp Maplewood and the latest hymnal that you sang along to? If you can't put enough effort into waking yourself up and existing in the real world vs. your perfect religious bubble then you're never going to get anywhere. I'm sorry, even as a Christian, I would find it difficult to converse with you.

So many "taboos" have been put in place by people before us and they're adhered to without question. Perhaps because one of them happens to be "don't ask questions"? Seriously, do you really wonder why you're called BLIND? I wonder what most of you would think of a "men's fellowship" night where a bunch of guys got together and hung out watching a football game and drinking a couple of beers. I beg of you to tell me ONE thing that's biblically wrong with this notion. How about a "youth group" outing where they attended a non-Christian event? Oh how your boats would be rocked by these ideas...

Show me ONE church that lets me not only think these thoughts but VOICE them and you'll have my weekly attendance (if not more). Until then, I'm sick of searching for churches. You invite me in, don't even acknowledge me, and expect me to conform to your narrow-minded ways of thinking. It's not happening.

I stand for a progressive movement within the Christian world and I'll gladly do it alone for now.

:: all the way

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if sacrifice something when I begin with a title. Do I try to conform my writing to suit whatever it was I wanted to say? What about the hidden things locked away in my mind? Do they stay there until next time?

I find that I have a strong desire to simply be noticed. Yet, at the same time, it's a desire that stays under very heavy control. I'm not so sure how this is possible but I make it happen on a daily basis. Every morning I wake up in hopes of meeting someone new. I am, however, seemingly incapable of making eye contact with a woman that I don't know. Sometimes I can, but more often than not, I find something else to do. Incidentally, this is the reason why I am writing this post at such a rapid pace.

I almost guarantee I'll pretend to fall asleep after this and she'll give up on trying to get my attention.

I pause in my writing...today is full of adventures and I think I might start them right now.

:: supporting the genre

I sat out to write a brilliant entry tonight. It may not feel like it to you, but I feel like I've redefined the term. I mean, let's be honest...deep down I wanted to write on par with Max Bemis. That was my first mistake. I can't compete with his lyrical genius. However, in my discovery of my inability to do, I began to wonder what it was that I sought out to accomplish.

Is it the audience? Well, I love the idea of people reading my thoughts. How big is my audience? I'd say I have roughly 4 unique visitors a month. It's certainly not the numbers but I think it's partly the dedication of those who truly care about what I have to say.

I write for the joy of writing. I write because I often have great things to say...and I don't know it until I write it down. In the process, I learn how to invoke those thoughts into everyday conversations. Sometimes it's poetry, sometimes its witty remarks, other times its just mindless babbling that has to be put somewhere.

Today was a great day. This weekend is going to be phenomenal. Utah, here I come!

:: oops, I went technical

I've been spending a lot of my time basically just sitting in my room working on a few side projects. I think I gave up on trying to meet people around here for a little while...I might wait until after my birthday to really start that up again. Normally I would find that depressing but it's really not so bad. All of us can use some alone time every now and then. I'm just taking...about 3 months to myself?

If there's not something to really grab my attention, then I typically occupy my time with massive amounts of work - while allotting some time for reading, writing, and lots of photography. I'm looking for good books to read so if you any suggestions PLEASE be kind enough to share ;).

This is one of those..."update on me" entries with no real conclusion. I could potentially finish it with a "I'm going to go out tonight and have the time of my life", but let's face it: definitely not going to happen. I could go out tonight, sure, but where? Anytime I think about having fun around here I get frustrated because I know how dead this entire state really is. Do you know how weird it feels to admit that I actually miss Utah?

Maybe I will take the consulting job so that I can do nothing but travel and live in hotels. I'm pretty convinced I'm too deranged to be in a relationship right now so I wouldn't be missing out on too much. I'm certainly not living the most exciting life coming home at 4:30 everyday.

I could end up in New York for a month and spend my nights roaming around - camera in hand, of course. I could wander down the Magnificent Mile in Chicago and take pictures with the guy playing the saxophone.

It's a risky career move. It's a risky...everything, really. I've never been one to let that stop me though. Does anyone read these anymore? What do you think I should do?